


(Un)happily ever after

by Alessariel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, BAMF Gabriel, Crows, Curses, Faeries - Freeform, Fairy Tale Style, First Kiss, Humour, M/M, Magic, Maleficent-inspired, Mention of Knotting, No Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, One-Shot, Sassy Castiel, Sassy Dean, Sleeping Beauty - Freeform, Swearing, but not for very long, dean is bi, faerie gifts, implied sex, shameless references to all sorts of things, slight bisexuality denial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-11
Packaged: 2018-02-07 21:49:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1915038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alessariel/pseuds/Alessariel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not your run-of-the-mill fairytale, featuring issues of consent, curses on demand and unhappy royalty. This was not quite what Prince Dean of Winchester had envisioned when he'd been roped into an ill-advised adventure by a fashionably challenged faerie and a not-so-common crow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WingedNik](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WingedNik/gifts).



"'lo and behold, behind yonder wall of thorns doth lie the castle. Destiny awaits ..."  
"Sam?  
"Yes, sire?"  
"Shut up."

Prince Dean shouldered his sword and narrowed his eyes at what looked essentially like the ultimate nightmare for gardeners everywhere. The faerie hovering next to the sword pouted. Sam was tall for a faerie, almost two spans from his toes to the tips of his long ears and his iridescent rainbow wings were half as tall as he again. He looked like the world's largest dragonfly after a collision with a pride parade.

Dean let his eyes roam across the thorns surrounding the castle, growing up its walls until just beneath the highest tower.

"Let me guess. I have to go to the highest room, in the highest tower. Because that's how these things go and no one is ever sensible enough to just have a nice suite on the main floor, close to the entrance."  
"Caw." said the crow that perched on Dean's other shoulder.  
"That a yes? I still don't speak bird, Gabe." The crow pecked his ear in answer and Dean squawked and batted at the offensive flying menace.  
"Caw, caw!" said the crow while taking wing and Dean could have sworn he'd heard a quiet "Motherfucker!" tagged onto that, but he couldn't be sure. Gabriel was adamant that he was a normal common crow that just happened to be cursed to turn into a man at random intervals, but Dean had his suspicions.

"Well, guess there's nothing to be done but get to it ..." he said uneasily, eyeing the thorny growth with disdain. This wasn't quite what he'd envisioned when Sam and Gabe had suddenly turned up in the Winchester castle gardens, talking of magic and adventure. Dean had been hiding there from the courtiers that bored him out of his mind, and it hadn't been very hard for the crow and the faerie to convince him to come with them.  
Oh well, no pain, no gain. Dean gripped his sword determinately and got to work.

~ about eight hours later ~

"You don't think you could have mentioned that using a cold iron blade would have infinitely made this easier before we got here, did you?" Dean complained through gritted teeth while swinging his sword in a wide arc. At least in theory. In reality he got the heavy thing barely up halfway before his muscles protested too much. Just when he was about to give up and tell Sam and Gabe where they could stick their adventure and exactly how deep to shove it, the last of the thorny branches fell away to reveal a dark dusty stairway. 

Dean dropped the sword and wiped his forehead with the sleeve of his expensive richly embroidered tunic. In hindsight he probably should have worn his usual far more sensible travelling clothes to this ordeal and donned his princely garb after disposing of roughly a billion cubic feet of brambles. Now the tunic was in tatters and Dean too tired to consider changing. Fuck this. He wasn't here to impress someone with his clothes after all.

"Well done, your highness." Sam said, sounding exited. The faerie conjured a flickering ball of many-colored lights that did little in the way of lighting the staircase, but at least it looked pretty. Dean had found out the hard way that this applied to a lot of faerie magic.

"Caw!" Gabe commented needlessly and flew up the staircase. Dean followed wearily, dragging his sword step by step.  
He arrived at the top of the staircase only to find an oakwood door with so many engravings on it that it looked more like an elaborate sieve. The door opened under his touch (decidedly not like magic, though, not if the tortured sound it emitted was anything to go by) and Dean stepped into the room. 

It was a right mess. There were clothes strewn all over the floor. Dust and cobwebs had accumulated in the corners and it looked as if someone at some point had tried to sweep but then had given up and died instead. The room was dominated by a huge four poster bed with moth-eaten curtains that might have been blue once but now were more of a mottled gray. 

Dean swallowed nervously and stepped closer. This was it. His big moment. The reason he'd run away from his cushy kingdom and the sweet (but infinitely boring) deal he'd had as the crown prince. He'd just felt so useless, pampered and waited on hand and foot. He'd wanted to make a difference. Hunt monsters, like his father had done in his own youth. Slay a dragon or something. (He'd only found out later that dragons were a protected species). Hopefully his younger brother Adam would cover for him. Might do the brat some good, to get a taste of responsibility. If Adam fucked this up, Dean would give him hell.

Gabe had fluttered into the room the second Dean opened the door and was now anxiously wandering up and down the window sill. Sam was hovering next to the bed with what he probably thought was an encouraging smile. The faerie waved his hands and a soft rosy glow lit up the room. It hid the dust and brought out the faded colors in the fabrics. The smell of roses wafted in from the window. Dean stepped towards the bed and the curtains magically opened for him by themselves. Birds began to sing a sweet song in the background. Dean leaned over the bed, taking his first look at the person he'd come to save ... and recoiled. 

"Well fuck me sideways!" the prince exclaimed loudly. "That's a guy!"


	2. Chapter 2

Silence answered him. The birdsong had stopped abruptly, and the rose scent turned cloyingly sweet.  
The crow avoided Dean's accusing gaze and shuffled its feet. Sam the faerie smiled nervously and emitted a faint buzz as he hovered by chance just out of the reach of Dean's sword.

"Erm." said Sam. "I may have forgotten to mention some things ..."  
"Forgotten? Forgotten?!? You told me I was supposed to save a princess! Princess, as in female! A very pretty princess, you said! Who would be eternally grateful if I rescued her from her dire destiny!" Dean exclaimed, pointing a finger at the blushing faerie.

"Did I say princess? What I meant was prince. You're supposed to save a prince. And he's pretty, you'll have to give me that!" Sam chittered so fast it almost sounded like the buzz of his wings.

Dean opened his mouth to tell Sam exactly how little he cared about that when his eyes flicked over the sleeping prince's face. The young man was pretty, he had to admit that. Good bone structure, there. Fair skin, with a light tan, god knows where that came from in this musty room. Thick, soft-looking hair that looked pretty mussed up. Well, the guy had supposedly been sleeping for years so the worst case of bed head Dean had ever seen shouldn't be too surprising. Still, it somehow suited the face and looked ... kind of nice. Dean very much tried not to notice those plush looking lips but failed utterly.

Dean belatedly closed his mouth and swallowed against a sudden inexplicable lump in his throat.  
"Well, you really should have said so earlier." he finished lamely.

"Yeah, so sue me." Sam seemed to have regained some confidence during Dean's totally inconspicuous inspection.  
"But, you're here now and this very pretty prince needs rescuing, and I'm sure he will be eternally grateful to you, if you catch my drift, wink wink nudge nudge, have I mentioned that he's really pretty yet?"

Dean sighed the long suffering sigh of people everywhere that found themselves afflicted with faeries.

"Oh alright. Might as well, since I'm already up here. So how do I rescue him from his curse then?"

In response, the birdsong started up again and suddenly rose vines were creeping up onto the bed and curling around the sleeping prince, blossoms opening that by chance had the exact same color as those plush lips Dean totally hadn't noticed.

The prince gave the faerie a flat look. "You can't be serious."

Sam shrugged. "Hey, it's not me making the rules, yeah? True love's first kiss, that's how the story goes." 

Dean stared. The faerie hovered, face impassive. The crow was laughing its ass off. It was a silent contest of wills. Dean caved first.

"And that doesn't strike you as a wee bit strange? I mean, I don't even know him! How the hell am I supposed to be in love with him, not even speaking of that true love crap?" That was just silly. Even if Dean swung that way. Which he didn't. Did he?

"Look, mate, are you gonna kiss him and break the damn curse or do I have to go and look for someone else?" Sam finally drawled, looking fed up.

"Oh come on, give me a break here! I, I mean, uh, what about consent?"   
"Consent?! He's cursed! Since when does someone like you care about consent anyways?"  
"Hey! I'll have you know that I've never kissed anyone against their will and never would! Some stupid people might say that this is a blurred line, but it's really just creepy, don't you think? He's laying there, all innocent and defenseless, for just any random passerby to snog, with no say in whether he even wants to be kissed by that person! How do you even know he won't be furious when he wakes up after being kissed by another guy?" Dean had to admit it was a bit hypocritical of him to be making such a fuss. If the castle's occupant had turned out to be a pretty princess as advertised, would he have objected to kissing her as well? Actually, now that he thought about it, the whole idea was genuinely disconcerting, gender notwithstanding. 

"He won't object. Trust me." Was that a smirk on the faerie's tiny and usually innocent face? Dean shivered.   
"But ..."  
"Oh shut your cakehole and get to it or scram!" The faerie suddenly yelled, at the end of his (admittedly not very generous) patience.

Dean gulped and stepped closer to the bed. Thankfully, the birds had scattered at Sam's yell and the rose vines had withered and died as well. Seriously, where'd those even come from? The rest of the room was fortunately flower-free.

Dean leaned over the bed, carefully planting his hands so they weren't touching the sleeping prince. He noticed the light blue suede doublet and that the white shirt underneath it was unlaced at the top, showing off a few dark curls. The sleeping prince's eyelashes were long and dark and fanned against his cheeks softly, more enticing than a man's eyelashes had any right to be.

It was just a kiss. Just a quick peck on the lips. Either that would suffice and break the curse or Dean could at last claim that he tried and really, what had Sam expected, true love at first sight? What was this, a damn fairytale? He hovered above the sleeping prince, caught in indecision. 

C'mon, Dean, he chastised himself. You've done this before, kissed a hundred girls, why should this be any different? It's just a pair of lips. A pair of really plush, plump, slightly chapped lips. Why are you hesitating? Just because this is a guy? Who are you trying to fool? Remember that one time, with the really buff stable hand? Or your father's first knight and the armory? Or that one hunting trip with the Earl of Lafitte? Good lord, that man could suck cock like he'd been born to suck. And what about that miller boy, down by the river ...

"Oh for the love of ..." A sudden gravelly voice broke Dean from his reverie and before he could even so much as blink in surprise, a strong hand had grabbed his neck and drawn him down, crushing his lips against that pair of chapped ones he'd been staring at for an indeterminable amount of time. 

"Mmph!"

It wasn't a gentle first kiss, nor was it very elegant, but what it lacked in the style department it made more than up for with the passion. Dean was surprised to find a tongue thrust between his lips and into his mouth and then that hand shifted and tilted his head just so and .. oh. Ooh.

A couple of minutes passed, and the smirk on Sam the faerie's face slowly slipped as increasingly desperate muffled noises came from the bed.

"Ahem. Sire?" he finally asked. There was no reaction unless you counted a hand sliding underneath a tattered but regal tunic.   
"Your highnesses!" Sam exclaimed, extremely scandalized. The two men finally separated, with a bit of flailing and sorting out whose limbs belonged to whom.


	3. Chapter 3

Prince Dean came to his senses and backed away from the bed, lips red and swollen and looking thoroughly debauched with his hair everywhichway where long elegant hands had grabbed and mussed without restraint.

He locked gazes with a pair of blue eyes of a shade so intense the likes of which he'd never seen before. The man those eyes belonged to smirked and finally sat up from his position on the bed. He stretched languidly, doublet riding up to reveal a slim strip of skin, and Dean had to hide a groan at the sight.

"Um." Dean exclaimed, proving that he had the brains to match the brawn.

The formerly sleeping prince cricked his neck and then stood with a fluid motion. He glanced at Dean and said, in that deep gravelly voice that did things to Dean's lower anatomy that he'd rather not think about, "I'm not happy to see you."

"Um." Damn, Dean really should come up with a better response. "You seemed pretty happy to see me just now?" His eyes flicked down to a rather noticeable bulge in those black tights that left very little to the imagination. If that didn't count as happy, Dean didn't know what did.

"No. You do not understand. I am not happy. I do not feel like I could burst into song at any given minute. I don't feel like frolicking about or praising the beauty of the world."

Dean was pretty sure his stare could be considered rude, but obviously a couple of years of sleep had done something dreadful to this guy's sanity. What a damn shame, such a pretty package and the content was completely gone round the bend.

"Er, congratulations?" he managed, slowly backing away from the crazy person and hoping it wasn't contagious.

The man, grinning widely by now, turned to face the faerie who had joined the crow on the windowsill.

"Sam, it worked! It really worked! The curse is broken!" he said, grabbing Sam and planting a kiss on the faerie's small face. Gabe the crow looked horrified and made retching noises, while Sam squawked in indignation, but then the faerie broke into a smile.

"That's great news, Castiel. I told you it would work if you'd only trust in me!"  
"You did, and I did, and it worked! Free, free at last!" Castiel made a motion as if to twirl but suddenly aborted as if he'd only just realized how strange and inappropriate that would look. Instead he stumbled a little.

"Um." If Dean didn't keep an eye on it, this might become some sort of trademark.  
"Can someone please clue me in? I'm rather lost."

Prince Castiel turned to Dean as if he'd only just remembered the other man's presence. Dean felt mildly insulted. He had no trouble remembering what they'd done only minutes ago.

"My apologies." Castiel said formally and bowed. "We haven't been adequately introduced. I am prince Castiel of Miltonia. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

Dean gaped a little at the formal introduction but years of drill caught on and made him bow hastily in response.  
"Prince Dean of Winchester, charmed, figuratively speaking, not literally. So, what kind of curse were you under? I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that it was not a 'Sleep like the dead until woken by true love's first kiss' spell." Dean said dryly, recalling all too well a certain demanding hand on his neck.

Suddenly there was a rustling of feathers and a man clad in black sat cross-legged on the windowsill in place of the crow. His amber eyes were alight with mischief.

"It wasn't really a curse at all, you see." Gabriel drawled. Both princes turned to him, wearing matching frowns. Gabriel tended to have that effect on people.

The crow shrugged. "Well, it wasn't. Just a faerie gift gone wrong, really. Gift of eternal happiness, to be precise. Bloody stupid gift, that." Sam made a small hurt noise and Gabriel eyed him, gaze softening a little. "Alright, let's call it well meant, but poorly worded." he amended.

"I'm so so sorry ... I've said it a thousand times already." Sam slumped, looking dejected. Castiel reached out and gently patted the faerie's shoulder.  
"And I said that I forgive you, Sam. And you fixed it, after all, so no harm done, right?"  
"Well, I guess ..." the faerie mumbled. "But, but it caused you to be all alone here for years."

"I never liked any of the simpering fools at this court anyways. And all of my siblings were glad to have an excuse to get out of here. Last I heard Michael built himself the castle of his dreams at the other side of the kingdom, Anna became a knight and Luce is lording it over some far away land called Moondoor or Mordor or something." Castiel shrugged.

"Yeah, lucky you that there was someone at hand who was able to grow a forest of thorns around the castle before people murdered you for being too annoyingly happy. You're welcome, by the way." Gabriel muttered. Sam and Castiel both sent him matching glares.

"Wait, so your 'curse' was really the gift of eternal happiness? Isn't that something good?" Dean finally managed to interject. Sam and Gabriel winced and Castiel scowled.

The Prince of Miltonia sighed.

"Alright, let me explain it to you in simple words. Have you ever experimented with, ah, substances or mushrooms from your trusted alchemist while growing up, your highness?" 

Dean grinned at the memories. Of course he had, many young nobles did all sorts of things to alleviate the constant boredom. He'd eventually outgrown that phase (some nobles never did), but good times were had by all. He could vividly remember how tripped out he'd been. Adam had teased him forever with the crap he'd said while chasing after butterflies and happily twirling on the spot for hours because the colors were so pretty ... oh. 

Castiel nodded when Dean winced in sudden understanding.  
"Yeah, imagine being like that all of the time. A pretty flower could entrance me for hours. People who complimented me instantly became my best friends. Small fluffy animals and birds flocked to me. And when someone was hurtful or made derogatory remarks, I couldn't really care, because I was just too happy to be mad. I was prone to bursting into song at the most inappropriate of times. Like during our parents' funeral."  
Dean's face fell as he imagined living like that. He'd probably have thrown himself off a cliff.

"I could notice poverty and pain and bad things that happened to people just fine, but I was unable to express the appropriate emotions. For example, after the fever plague of '64 grieving people who had lost their loved ones would come to the court and I could just smile at them and talk about how lovely the weather was or how pretty the noblewoman's clothes were. In the beginning people found it charming and uplifting. Later, not so much." 

"They wanted to burn you at the stake when you turned sixteen, as far as I recall." Gabriel quipped.  
"Yes, Gabriel, thank you for reminding me of that extremely painful part of my past." Castiel snapped.  
"At your service, sunshine." Castiel looked at Gabriel as if he was contemplating pushing him out of the window, but then seemed to realize the futility of trying to make a crow fall.

"Sam finally came up with the idea of the 'curse' to keep me isolated until we could find a way to get rid of the gift. It took them seven long years, but here you are."  
"Here I am." Dean echoed, looking pensive. "So it wasn't True love's kiss that broke the spell, eh?"  
Gabriel snorted. "More like truly closeted lust's kiss."  
"Gabriel!" Sam chided as Dean sputtered, cheeks a ruddy red.

Castiel coughed delicately. "True love was not required, no. They had to find a person who was unhappy with their life but was willing to do something selfless. Also, the person had to meet some ... specifications."

"Oh yes, he was very specific. Tall, built, of noble origin, nice face, pretty eyes, hung like a horse ..." Gabriel listed on his fingers. Sam angrily buzzed at him, only to be snatched out of the air and cradled carefully in Gabriel's hands.  
"Shut up, you insufferable git, and unhand me this instant!" Sam demanded. Gabriel started stroking the irate faerie's wings instead.

Castiel blushed bright red when Dean lifted an eyebrow at him.

"Well, I'm not kissing just anybody!" he said defensively. "You said it yourself, it's creepy."

Dean narrowed his eyes. "Wait a second, how many princes have been here before me wanting to kiss you?" Castiel blushed even brighter and averted his gaze. Sam coughed in embarrassment.

"Let's just say that we thought you were a bloody godsend when we stumbled upon you, princess." Gabriel said and winked at Dean who stuck out his tongue in response.

"I knew it! I knew I saw some swords and scythes tangled in those vines!" Dean muttered to himself.

"Well, anyways." Castiel finally said, trying to change topics. "Thanks a bunch for freeing me from my curse and all. Mighty noble of you, Dean of Winchester. Much obliged."

Dean's eyes narrowed further before a small smirk appeared on his lips.

"That's all very well, but where's my reward?"  
"Reward?" Castiel tilted his head.  
"I was promised the 'eternal gratitude' of a pretty princess as reward for my noble deeds." Dean explained.  
'Selfless, huh.' Gabriel mouthed to Sam, who didn't respond because he was busy melting under the crow's skilled fingers on his sensitive wings.

"Ah." Understanding dawned on Castiel's face. "I see. Well, you shall of course get your reward." Castiel's eyes flicked to the bed. Dean blinked in surprise.

"Well? What are you waiting for, a written invitation?" Castiel drawled.  
"Er. What, you want to ... um. Right now? Right here?"  
"You're here, I'm here, there's a perfectly good bed available ... and I haven't made it beyond first base in the last seven years, if you catch my drift."  
"Oh."  
"C'mon, you bloody tease, off with the clothes now. Hop to it!" Castiel didn't even wait to give Dean a chance to comply, but stepped closer, determination written across his handsome features.

Gabriel wisely chose that moment to extract himself and his faerie boyfriend from the scene of carnal pleasure. He turned back into the crow and nudged Sam with his beak until the blissed-out faerie opened his eyes blearily.  
"Caw." Gabriel said, nodding towards the bed. Sam's gaze followed the motion, eyes widening and hand flying up to cover his mouth.  
"Oh my ..!" he exclaimed.  
"Caw!" Gabriel snickered and gently took hold of Sam's little lilac tunic with his beak, tugging.  
"Oh. Give them some privacy. Yes, you have a point, Gabe." the faerie swallowed, eyes still glued to the enticing sight. He finally tore himself away and fluttered his wings, and together crow and faerie departed to have their own private celebration of a job well done.

~*~

"Gabe?" Sam said when they were sitting cuddled up together in the afterglow underneath a mighty oak tree in the castle gardens, Gabe in his human form and Sam having magicked himself to a matching height.

"Yeah?"  
"Think we should have told Castiel about Dean's curse?"  
"That he is a pompous prat with a daddy complex and self worth issues?"  
"Those things are neither a curse nor true. Not very much, at least." Sam chided gently.  
"Whatever. I'm pretty sure Castiel will notice right about now. Unless he's on top." Gabriel smirked.

"Dean doesn't strike me as submissive much." Sam looked contemplative, as if he'd pondered the prince's preferences at length which was slightly creepy. Gabriel frowned.  
"Barking dogs don't bite, love. You'd be surprised. I bet Castiel's giving that arrogant brat a good hard ride. Our prince is pretty badass if he wants to be."

Sam blushed bright red at the mental image.  
"The curse, Gabe, focus please! How do you even know about Dean's, er, special equipment? I know for a fact you do not possess True Sight."  
"Spied on him when he was bathing in the river, of course. Don't get your knickers in a knot, Sam. Hehe, see what I did there? Knot. It's funny because Dean ..."

"I get it! Well. I guess there are worse curses than to turn into a dog once a month with the full moon. I'm sure they'll find a way to handle it."  
"You never told me what kind of dog he turns into. Wolfhound? German Shepherd? Labrador?"  
"Er. Not ... precisely." Sam squirmed a little. "Think smaller."  
"Bulldog? Terrier? Dachshund?"  
Sam squirmed, then moved his hands in a distinctive shape.  
"Are you telling me he really turns into a p..." Gabriel couldn't even finish the sentence, he was laughing so hard. 

~*~

Up in the highest room of the highest tower Dean sneezed, but no one heard it because his face was pressed into a mattress and he was moaning very enthusiastically and loudly. And when the tables turned and Castiel did learn of Dean's little secret, he was surprised but hardly displeased. You could say he found it a truly connecting experience.

And so they lived (un)happily ever after and how they broke Dean's curse is a story for another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it, folks. Hope you had as much fun reading this as I had writing it. WingedNik, hope you like where I took your request. If you guys want me to write more you gotta let me know. Comments are much appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a birthday gift for the fabulous Nopieontuesday/WingedNik (http://nopieontuesday.tumblr.com). I promised a short ficlet and he asked for an adorable first kiss between Dean and Cas. Once again it turns out that I can neither do short nor adorable. So sorry, hun. Hope you like it anyways.
> 
> Find me on tumblr: http://alessariel.tumblr.com


End file.
